Parents evening.....

Yup it's that time of the year when parents all over go to see their kiddos teacher to here how well (or not so well depending on ur kiddo). All over social media, parents are raving about how awesome their son or daughter have done at school and how proud of them they are.

I am, unfortunately, one of those mummies who dread each and every meeting at the school. Do they all turn out a bad as I fear?

No, not all the meetings at school turn out as bad as my fears. The issue arises from several areas - an old school R attended, as mentioned in a previous post, and his complex needs. I am forever aware that R has these issues and how they can affect him in his academic career. Every positive comes with a negative and how to offset these problems.

Does this mean we, as parents, are any less proud of our children?

To me, it's a no brainer! I'm as intensely proud of R as I am of H, and I believe as any other parent is of their children. In some ways, I think parents of children who need that extra bit of help, can actually be prouder of their children. No, not in the bragging way of 'my child is better than yours' but in the fact that every single achievement is a massive step forward.

Let me explain what I mean. With R, it's the fact he got through a whole school day on green (our primary school does a traffic light system), or that he wrote one word without the need for dots to trace, or even that the teachers and headmaster (as his old school did) don't grab us after school to talk about how bad his behaviour has gotten that day. It's the fact that we didn't have to resort to shouting and removal of tech time to get him to change from his uniform into play clothes, or that he willingly entered the shower or didn't fight us when we brushed his teeth.

H is different in the fact that he's 1. Younger than R and 2. Neuro-typical. This means we are proud of having an amazing parents evening report, like those parents on social media extol. Saying that, we have the added bit of how H copes with having a big brother like R. H looks up to R in a way that I don't normally see in other siblings - it's like a cross between sibling love and hero worship. That's not to say they don't fight, because goodness me do they ever fight! It's that, as a younger brother to a complex needs kiddo, H has to learn fast what triggers R into meltdown, how to calm R when mummy and daddy won't do for R and also, and in many many ways the most important way -

H has, and is still learning, that everyone is different. That they all see the world in a slightly different way and that, that is ok. This shows the most when H interacts with other children, of all ages. He's empathic and understanding when someone can't talk, he plays with everyone and adapts to how they process the world around them.

So, you see, you will never see me on social media, after a parents evening extolling how proud and wonderful my sons are because everyday they show me those little amazing things and we tell THEM how proud we are of them for that achievement.

Always remember, our children don't need us to tell others how proud we are of them, they need US to tell THEM of that proudness and love in THEM. So go, give them a hug and tell them right now. They will be surprised and weirded out by it but by doing it everyday they will in turn tell YOU how proud of YOU they are.