The word every adult hates - diets!
In this post I want to talk about food diets AND a sensory diet. Yes these are two very different things, it threw me for a loop when I first heard the term sensory diet. I sat there, that first time, and thought 'how the heck does that work? How can the senses be on a diet?' I was completely baffled and every Pinterest find and website check, carried on confusing me.
It was only when another blogger posted about there being another sense, one that was about our internal sense (yup it's a long complex word I can neither pronounce or write lol), that it clicked - a sensory diet is about you getting sensory input, just like when we put healthy food in our mouths to nourish our bodies.
Makes sense right? Well maybe only to us that have sensory issues big enough to realise this. Not everyone who has a sensory issue needs such drastic action as a diet, R doesn't need a full sensory diet or he becomes what I have termed as terror tot! Saying that though, R does need rebound actions and swinging/spinning (vestibular) these along with a strict ski lesson routine, he's calmer than ever.
He does still have his days, especially after school, where nothing is gonna stop a meltdown from happening. This is where his food diet comes into play.
Now up until he turned 6 years old R would eat anything and everything you put in front of him, in his reach or he could figure out how to reach. Since that little switch on his 6th birthday went on, R will now only eat fish, chips, fast food burgers and pizza - not including his vegetables and some berries which he loves.
Not a varied diet right? I had always believed that getting my kiddos to eat whatever I made was gonna be easy and it was - until now! So as me and hubby need to loose weight and the usual diet plans aren't working for me (thank you medication) I have gone gluten free, aspartame free and as preservative free as possible. Can you guess what I have managed to do?
Yup, R now is on the same diet as me - although more calorific due to his bmi being so low. It's a struggle, I won't sugar coat this! It's not just changing the food, it's the mind set as well. This last bit being easier for kiddos as they don't have the years of being set in their ways, as my grandad would say.
So to overcome reluctance we have included them in the shopping for gluten free foods - both naturally occurring and in the free from aisle. This makes life a little easier, as it allows them to make the right decisions over what they want to eat, as well as educating them that you don't always know what's in your food.
Sensory diet wise, well this is still a huge struggle for us. We have a trampoline outside that R will spend hours and hours on with his footballs - yes we know, footballs and bouncing kiddo not a good combo but you deal with the ensuing meltdown with violence added in!
We now have a swing set to add into the mix outside, thanks to grandparents birthday present. The issue we have found is that R likes swings but doesn't stay in them long at all - this is where money becomes an issue. He ideally needs one of those cloth swings which go in circles as well as backwards and forwards - these my friend are not cheap, just like weighted blankets (that's for a different post!).
Well now you know roughly what any diet will do for a kiddo like R. It's a daily struggle even when you love them beyond anything. Xx
Wednesday 2 March 2016
Tuesday 1 March 2016
Schools.....
A minefield right here!
Finding a good school for any child is a hard thing to do but when you add in Special Educational Needs (SEN), more mines appear. Remember the game that Windows computers used to come with - the one where you had to guess where the mines are by the numbers appearing on the squares? Well if you do, then imagine trying that game WITHOUT the numbers to clue you into the mines locations.
R is now in year 2 and has been in 3 schools - yup 3! The first one was brilliant for him but we had to move due to hubby's work, I will admit I did cry having to leave his teacher and doctor behind! His current school is even better - we got lucky with how amazing the teachers and students, even the parents, have been with us all.
Ok so you may have noticed I missed out school number 2 - there is a reason for that, it is still a very anger and pain inducing time in our family's lives that I'm prepping myself to tell you the reality of being in the wrong school. Let me start by describing R BEFORE we had to move - he was always laughing, meltdowns were only when out shopping or in large crowded areas, he loved puzzles and could complete 1500 pieces in half hour without help, he was keen to learn and loved playing.
Fast forward to the middle of reception year and our move to Norfolk. We couldn't see the school before we applied for a place and it looked great website, R seemed to settle in well and we had no adjustment meltdowns as we expected - this should have been our first warning!
Over the following 18 months R became physically and verbally violent, to everyone apart from H. It wasn't helped when he could no longer go out in the garden or into the village without an adult, for fear it would bring the social workers calling. It was a time of screaming, yelling and crying - that just from me! The school blamed everything on us, his family, refusing to admit that they had a hand in this behavioural change. R refused to do puzzles above 8/10 pieces and took hours to do them, when we went to parents evening I could finally see why he was acting out so much!
They had his table facing a radiator, sided by 2 filing cabinets and his back to the class! Who wouldn't act out with this as their daily view?! Luckily we were offered social housing 15 miles away, we loved the house and the school were keen for us to look around. We explained what had been happening with R and how he was in school, they took it with calm explanations that he would be included at all times and never segregated!
Now half way through year 2 R is writing, reading, has friends who come to call for him, even invites to parties. He's slowly becoming that happy, care free super kid he was before. That's not al, this school actually cares about what's going on at home and how they can help him by helping us. As a family, we feel included and respected, as part of the actual community.
So yes I am of the mind that, as a parent, visiting each and every school in your area and telling them the whole truth of what it's like for your kiddo is ESSENTIAL before applying for school places. This stands for high school or secondary school (depending on where you are), R is continually assessed by the school and so far will be attending a SEN High school instead of main stream BUT this may change. As it could for ANY kiddo.
Finding a good school for any child is a hard thing to do but when you add in Special Educational Needs (SEN), more mines appear. Remember the game that Windows computers used to come with - the one where you had to guess where the mines are by the numbers appearing on the squares? Well if you do, then imagine trying that game WITHOUT the numbers to clue you into the mines locations.
R is now in year 2 and has been in 3 schools - yup 3! The first one was brilliant for him but we had to move due to hubby's work, I will admit I did cry having to leave his teacher and doctor behind! His current school is even better - we got lucky with how amazing the teachers and students, even the parents, have been with us all.
Ok so you may have noticed I missed out school number 2 - there is a reason for that, it is still a very anger and pain inducing time in our family's lives that I'm prepping myself to tell you the reality of being in the wrong school. Let me start by describing R BEFORE we had to move - he was always laughing, meltdowns were only when out shopping or in large crowded areas, he loved puzzles and could complete 1500 pieces in half hour without help, he was keen to learn and loved playing.
Fast forward to the middle of reception year and our move to Norfolk. We couldn't see the school before we applied for a place and it looked great website, R seemed to settle in well and we had no adjustment meltdowns as we expected - this should have been our first warning!
Over the following 18 months R became physically and verbally violent, to everyone apart from H. It wasn't helped when he could no longer go out in the garden or into the village without an adult, for fear it would bring the social workers calling. It was a time of screaming, yelling and crying - that just from me! The school blamed everything on us, his family, refusing to admit that they had a hand in this behavioural change. R refused to do puzzles above 8/10 pieces and took hours to do them, when we went to parents evening I could finally see why he was acting out so much!
They had his table facing a radiator, sided by 2 filing cabinets and his back to the class! Who wouldn't act out with this as their daily view?! Luckily we were offered social housing 15 miles away, we loved the house and the school were keen for us to look around. We explained what had been happening with R and how he was in school, they took it with calm explanations that he would be included at all times and never segregated!
Now half way through year 2 R is writing, reading, has friends who come to call for him, even invites to parties. He's slowly becoming that happy, care free super kid he was before. That's not al, this school actually cares about what's going on at home and how they can help him by helping us. As a family, we feel included and respected, as part of the actual community.
So yes I am of the mind that, as a parent, visiting each and every school in your area and telling them the whole truth of what it's like for your kiddo is ESSENTIAL before applying for school places. This stands for high school or secondary school (depending on where you are), R is continually assessed by the school and so far will be attending a SEN High school instead of main stream BUT this may change. As it could for ANY kiddo.
Monday 29 February 2016
Sensory overload.....
Also known as meltdowns, sensory overloads are never pretty and never logical to us parents. Anything can set them off from clothing to someone talking a bit too loud. Sounds unreal and unattainable right? It did to us before R had his first meltdown.
To be honest I truly thought it was just your stereotypical toddler tantrum over having to wear clothes (H does this even now at 3) but after talking to various doctors, spanning at least 3 counties, and to friends who have kiddos like R; it became clear that these were not your normal tantrums.
Now most parents, if your lucky, experience tantrums throughout their child's life (no matter the age) they just know how to actually get the best results the older they get. These tantrums, from experiencing H, normally involve the odd toy thrown across the room or even sitting on the ground screaming blue murder because he was told no. Some kiddos even kick and hit in public arenas when presented with the term NO.
Sensory overload or meltdown is so similar yet also extremely different. The triggers aren't always the same as a tantrum, although R has felt being told no to be too much on top of everything else. For us, a meltdown in R is a full body experience - crying, rocking, spinning, jumping, screaming, kicking, hitting and on occasion biting. During these meltdowns, we have found the best thing to do is stay CALM and turn sounds down (or off) and stay back. Getting angry with him just makes it all worse, so I am sometimes found walking away from him - is this right? Not always but I always make sure he is safe, that his dad is with him (he's the calmest one of us) and I know that I'm angry at the fact I'm helpless to help him, he doesn't need that feeling from me.
Imagine your 7 year old is as tall as a 12 year old, as flexible as a rubber band and has the strength of an 18 year old. They have complex needs, of which sensory processing disorder is one - the trigger this time is that the sun is too high in the sky and his brother is in his space. What do you do?
Well we close the curtain so he can't see the sun and explain his little brother is on the other side of the room. Works right? NOPE he goes into full on meltdown mode, so you remove little brother so he's safe, sit down so you are supported by a wall or sofa, grab the child and plonk them on your lap. Now the hard bit here is keeping him there - you try holding his arms across his body, you even try lying down with you legs over his legs to stop the kicking but he uses his head and it's like riding a rodeo bronco (or at least what you assume it's like).
Fast forward an hour and the meltdown is still going on, you have tried everything the parenting course suggested, you have implemented Pinterest ideas and even resorted to removing privileges. What's left to do?
In our experience, nothing! Each persons meltdown is different and individual to them, so bear in mind so tactics help some where it's doesn't for others. R is one of those kiddos where the triggers are NEVER the same thing, so an avoidance plan can not be used. We have a thinking chair - yup it's as hippy as its sounds lol but it's works for us.
The thinking chair used to be called the naughty chair until Blues Clues found its way into our house. We have a sand timer which had sections for 3 minutes, 5 minutes and 7 minutes which we pint to the colour sand that indicates how long both R and H have sat on the chair to THINK about what has just happened. For H it's to think about his behaviour and how its wasn't the best choice to make. For R it's a place to think about how he feels, what made him feel that way and how his behaviour due to this wasn't the best choice.
Do we expect too much from our sons? Maybe we do in some ways but as I have found out over the years - shouting and yelling achieves not a lot. We let the meltdowns R experience run their course, even in public (although we do move it to the car) and then once he has calmed, we ask him to sit on the thinking chair to think about what has happened and how it affects him and everyone around him.
It sounds so very easy doesn't it? It's not, nor has it ever been. Every strategy we have found, tired and failed at, we did with no support for. Professionals or education.
So today's post, is about understanding that what can seem to be a tantrum may actually be a meltdown or sensory overload; the reverse is true as well. Many times R has tried to make out a basic tantrum is a sensory meltdown (he's a smart cookie)
To be honest I truly thought it was just your stereotypical toddler tantrum over having to wear clothes (H does this even now at 3) but after talking to various doctors, spanning at least 3 counties, and to friends who have kiddos like R; it became clear that these were not your normal tantrums.
Now most parents, if your lucky, experience tantrums throughout their child's life (no matter the age) they just know how to actually get the best results the older they get. These tantrums, from experiencing H, normally involve the odd toy thrown across the room or even sitting on the ground screaming blue murder because he was told no. Some kiddos even kick and hit in public arenas when presented with the term NO.
Sensory overload or meltdown is so similar yet also extremely different. The triggers aren't always the same as a tantrum, although R has felt being told no to be too much on top of everything else. For us, a meltdown in R is a full body experience - crying, rocking, spinning, jumping, screaming, kicking, hitting and on occasion biting. During these meltdowns, we have found the best thing to do is stay CALM and turn sounds down (or off) and stay back. Getting angry with him just makes it all worse, so I am sometimes found walking away from him - is this right? Not always but I always make sure he is safe, that his dad is with him (he's the calmest one of us) and I know that I'm angry at the fact I'm helpless to help him, he doesn't need that feeling from me.
Imagine your 7 year old is as tall as a 12 year old, as flexible as a rubber band and has the strength of an 18 year old. They have complex needs, of which sensory processing disorder is one - the trigger this time is that the sun is too high in the sky and his brother is in his space. What do you do?
Well we close the curtain so he can't see the sun and explain his little brother is on the other side of the room. Works right? NOPE he goes into full on meltdown mode, so you remove little brother so he's safe, sit down so you are supported by a wall or sofa, grab the child and plonk them on your lap. Now the hard bit here is keeping him there - you try holding his arms across his body, you even try lying down with you legs over his legs to stop the kicking but he uses his head and it's like riding a rodeo bronco (or at least what you assume it's like).
Fast forward an hour and the meltdown is still going on, you have tried everything the parenting course suggested, you have implemented Pinterest ideas and even resorted to removing privileges. What's left to do?
In our experience, nothing! Each persons meltdown is different and individual to them, so bear in mind so tactics help some where it's doesn't for others. R is one of those kiddos where the triggers are NEVER the same thing, so an avoidance plan can not be used. We have a thinking chair - yup it's as hippy as its sounds lol but it's works for us.
The thinking chair used to be called the naughty chair until Blues Clues found its way into our house. We have a sand timer which had sections for 3 minutes, 5 minutes and 7 minutes which we pint to the colour sand that indicates how long both R and H have sat on the chair to THINK about what has just happened. For H it's to think about his behaviour and how its wasn't the best choice to make. For R it's a place to think about how he feels, what made him feel that way and how his behaviour due to this wasn't the best choice.
Do we expect too much from our sons? Maybe we do in some ways but as I have found out over the years - shouting and yelling achieves not a lot. We let the meltdowns R experience run their course, even in public (although we do move it to the car) and then once he has calmed, we ask him to sit on the thinking chair to think about what has happened and how it affects him and everyone around him.
It sounds so very easy doesn't it? It's not, nor has it ever been. Every strategy we have found, tired and failed at, we did with no support for. Professionals or education.
So today's post, is about understanding that what can seem to be a tantrum may actually be a meltdown or sensory overload; the reverse is true as well. Many times R has tried to make out a basic tantrum is a sensory meltdown (he's a smart cookie)
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