Schools.....

A minefield right here!

Finding a good school for any child is a hard thing to do but when you add in Special Educational Needs (SEN), more mines appear. Remember the game that Windows computers used to come with - the one where you had to guess where the mines are by the numbers appearing on the squares? Well if you do, then imagine trying that game WITHOUT the numbers to clue you into the mines locations.

R is now in year 2 and has been in 3 schools - yup 3! The first one was brilliant for him but we had to move due to hubby's work, I will admit I did cry having to leave his teacher and doctor behind! His current school is even better - we got lucky with how amazing the teachers and students, even the parents, have been with us all.

Ok so you may have noticed I missed out school number 2 - there is a reason for that, it is still a very anger and pain inducing time in our family's lives that I'm prepping myself to tell you the reality of being in the wrong school. Let me start by describing R BEFORE we had to move - he was always laughing, meltdowns were only when out shopping or in large crowded areas, he loved puzzles and could complete 1500 pieces in half hour without help, he was keen to learn and loved playing.

Fast forward to the middle of reception year and our move to Norfolk. We couldn't see the school before we applied for a place and it looked great website, R seemed to settle in well and we had no adjustment meltdowns as we expected - this should have been our first warning!

Over the following 18 months R became physically and verbally violent, to everyone apart from H. It wasn't helped when he could no longer go out in the garden or into the village without an adult, for fear it would bring the social workers calling. It was a time of screaming, yelling and crying - that just from me! The school blamed everything on us, his family, refusing to admit that they had a hand in this behavioural change. R refused to do puzzles above 8/10 pieces and took hours to do them, when we went to parents evening I could finally see why he was acting out so much!

They had his table facing a radiator, sided by 2 filing cabinets and his back to the class! Who wouldn't act out with this as their daily view?! Luckily we were offered social housing 15 miles away, we loved the house and the school were keen for us to look around. We explained what had been happening with R and how he was in school, they took it with calm explanations that he would be included at all times and never segregated!

Now half way through year 2 R is writing, reading, has friends who come to call for him, even invites to parties. He's slowly becoming that happy, care free super kid he was before. That's not al, this school actually cares about what's going on at home and how they can help him by helping us. As a family, we feel included and respected, as part of the actual community.

So yes I am of the mind that, as a parent, visiting each and every school in your area and telling them the whole truth of what it's like for your kiddo is ESSENTIAL before applying for school places. This stands for high school or secondary school (depending on where you are), R is continually assessed by the school and so far will be attending a SEN High school instead of main stream BUT this may change. As it could for ANY kiddo.